It Has Been Said; Liar Liar, Pants On Fire!

What an incredible contradiction within our society. As you grow up,
you are taught that “honesty is the best policy.” You are told that you
should always tell the truth…especially to your mother and father….
You are told that “cheaters never prosper,” that “liars go to hell.” It is
greatly instilled in you that to be “dishonest” is even a detriment to society itself.

Then you get to adolescence. I think the biggest hurdle with adolescence is in realizing that all that crap was a huge lie itself. If guys weren’t taught not to lie, they would be getting tail in their early teens without a problem. There would be far much less of the confusions between men and women at that early age.

The confusion, in my belief rests firmly in that area where a guy realizes that they have to lie to get anywhere with a female.


It isn’t a confusion about “what to do” in a sexual situation. It isn’t a confusion from some natural cause and difference between men and women. It is a confusion that is instilled in being lied to and conditioned in a way that states you are not supposed to lie. It is a confusion that arises in the process of figuring out that not being a liar is a big lie.. a confusion that comes from having to go entirely against everything that you are taught…. just to have a human relationship.


Laughably enough, the guy usually goes through such a process without even realizing what it is that is actually causing the friction. If someone just told them to lie to the girls more, it would all get easier immediately.


The hard fact is, in our modern society a person is not going to procreate unless they are a liar. A person could probably not maintain a “healthy” relationship if they weren’t a huge liar. A person definitely is not going to even “score” with a female, unless they can lie the paint off of a moving Indy car, mid race.


Imagine what it must take to maintain a marriage in this day and age? . Especially knowing that it is bound for litigation anyhow… since it is entirely impossible to lie all of the time and sooner or later you will have to exchange too many truths… which will wreck the whole thing. Not necessarily so much that the truths will be unacceptable… but that you will eventually run out of lies… which will act to destroy the very fabric of modern male/female relationships. The modern idea and standard of marriage is Satanism, incarnate.


You have to lie to get to that point, then you exchange huge lies in a “holy” place… in front of everyone you have ever cared about… and for all the wrong reasons… which are related to the area of “status.” More the façade of such. Women think they have to marry someone successful. That is, “successful” in the modern media’s definition.


They don’t want someone with “potentials” of any sort. You can buy or lease those things….. They want someone that they can present as some sort of status symbol which in turn somehow compliments their “beauty” and worth.


Factually and much because of our modern social dynamic, females don’t really want the truth… they want you to tell them what they want to hear. If they aren’t hearing what they want to hear…. At any point in some human interaction, it stops. They abandon it.

You simply cannot be honest, to which ever degree in our day, and expect to get dates much less maintain a marriage or significant relationship.


It is as though they think the human ability to communicate was derived simply for the purpose of telling them what they want to hear. Not for communication or problem solving…. Not for art or advance of our species (other than lying to procreate), but to tell them what they expect to hear.

About anything.

It kind of negates the beauty of being human to begin with… reducing such an incredible capacity and potential to nothing more than tool in desperation for the purpose of a fleeting moment or two of relative calm.


Think I’m making this up? Ask one of your guy friends what he says if his “significant” other asks him “how they look?” “Does this make me look fat?” Any question of the sort…..

If that person tells you that they answer them honestly… then you know they have a great relationship, and is probably a Satan worshiper…. Because he is obviously a huge, stinking liar, and is a “happily married” stinking liar.


The female wants to hear that she looks great…. “no, it doesn’t make you look fat.” They don’t want to know what you actually think…..they don’t even want a conversation with you… that is for their girlfriends… and in that is no more involved than concerning fashion…. Gossip about which ever of their girlfriends isn’t at the table…. And of course, that subject matter which they seem to think is a national secret, being sexual subject matter… and of course thinking that they are running the world.


Face it. You have to be a liar to get anywhere… ANYWHERE in modern society. Even to just a simple existence these days…. But it really helps if you have someone that say’s you are not a liar.


There is no concept of “dual existence” for the purpose of existence. Enjoying even the simplest with one another.

That puts another action into the workings of society as well… in that it is no longer a society concerned with healthy existence… more that the main concern is in making someone else look like a liar, so that you can posture as NOT being a liar. Which in effect is itself a great lie. Most times this ends up being the more productive of individuals in any given social circle… simply because they are productive and the need arises to “level the playing field.”

If you have a friend which is married, know they are incredibly big liars. If they have been married for more than ten years, know that they should have gone into show business and have missed their true calling and destiny of eventually standing before the academy and giving an acceptance speech, simply to waist it on one person and of course, fueling the “consumer” economy.

This really takes allot away from the idea of marriage to begin with. It is a comedy in the sense that a person has to lie in incredible amounts, simply to “unite” in a “sanctified union” with another human being of the opposite sex. In fact, the amount of lies it takes just to get to the point of considering marriage, would have gained most people in history a “place of good standing” in hell, next to the devil himself. Then consider those stinking whoppers that are exchanged at “the alter.”

I have to say, that I think it has gotten much harder for people to unite…. Not that the need to lie has grown so much with society… but that it is just more difficult these days to find that acceptable lie which makes you look good enough against all that you must “compete” with in the façade which is society, to actually have the opportunity to couple much less procreate.

A man could have the virility, heritage, insights and charisma of the noblest degree…. But would still not stand a chance unless they were outright liars. That is, of course, if they don’t have loads of money. But even having loads money, means both that you ARE a liar (in our modern day), and will continue to be, because that is how it is maintained from the perspective of society.

In that is yet another twist…being that for some reason, it is expected that all of the liars must continue to act as if they aren’t liars, especially those in relationships… like it is part of the “lie” deal… the agreement…. to never actually address the fact that you are lying to that degree. It seems to be a mutual agreement and is apparently the only part of the marriage which is respected… as long as you allow the other to live in denial as well.

There aren’t any females that grasp the concept of “building” together. Co-existing. I believe this is part of that “tell me what I want to hear” personality trait which permeates all in the modern day. Quite factually, there isn’t a female in the United States that couldn’t be bought. Most would prefer it actually…. Which is quite obvious in both the social dynamics in our modern day, and those areas which can be readily referenced to illustrate it.

Let’s be honest, “buying” them is really all anyone does…. diamond rings, cars….. clothes…. dinner… coffee…. all the while telling each other incredible lies….. the best of which are along the lines of “I’ve never done this before…” and of course the ever popular “I’m not a whore, really.”

Why then have they systematically removed all other options than the socially accepted levels of whoring?

And of course the wonderful façade of lies and the lie machine which is our society, that tells them they aren’t…. and further aren’t of their own volition.

It Has Been Said; Don't I know you From Somewhere? (Jingle Dogs)

Yes, ladies and gentlemen.... I fear that perhaps you do, though it is that none of you could really recognize it right away.

You have all heard the "Singing Dogs Jingle Bells," and some of you have heard the "Jingle Bells Boogie by the Jingle Dogs" song that is a newer version.....

....well......

I'm the guy that wrote the lyrics to them and many others that common domestic animals have performed.

I know... you're thinking "How cool, this guy is multi-lingual."

It really isn't that impressive when you get right down to it.... when I wrote them, the words just flowed... it wasn't that hard. I never even took one class.

Once I started with the first line of "Woof ruff ruff, Ruff roof riff....." it all just kind of happened.

When I wrote the lyrics to the more modern version, "Jingle Bells Boogie by the Jingle Dogs," I put a bit more thought into it..... I wrote lyrics that fluctuated a bit more as you can tell.

I am sorry to say that contrary to the mood and timbre' that my lyrical work for those songs has produced, I might have to go to court over it. I just might have to sue for my part of the residual earnings over the years as no one has issued the appropriate payments. Again, I think it will be a sad thing to have to go to court about such, especially given what the songs have come to represent in that "Holiday feel," but it is just as bad that the others involved have chosen a position of selfishness and greed.

I'm sure you will agree that the lyrics of those songs (and most of the other animal performance songs) are really what make them so wonderful. It is sad that my lyrical work has been treated in such a manner. "Reaped," as it were for years...always saying that they "were getting around to it," and "the checks in the mail."

When I think about, it goes right along the lines of past works of artistic success through history. There always seems to be that element of underhanded business associated with the most successful of entertainment endeavors.

Hey. Madonna pays her lyricists (usually). Why shouldn't they?

Coincidentally, as a humorous and ironic note...and one that is also far too common in the history of entertainment.... when I had first written the lyrics to the "Singing Dogs Jingle Bells," I didn't even present it to the group that performed it and produced it eventually. I actually had pitched it to Barbara Streisands management FIRST, but they "failed to see the potential of them" and refused to even present the songs to her. Then I pitched it to Madonna's management with similar results.....

I think they just didn't want to upset their lyricists with someone else penning a string of hits for them.

If you ask me, they missed out.... but then again it looks like things worked out for them anyway.

I think after I settle this issue in court.... that I may pitch some new lyrics at Aguilera's management... they may see things a bit different once they look at the proven success behind my lyrical talent.

I can really see Aguilera taking lyrics like that a long way... her voice alone will lend alot to them, I'm sure. Besides, she could use a good Holiday song.

It Has Been Said; "The Aristocrats" version #4

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."


The father then says: "We ain't got no idea about no entertainment shit.... all I know is that for years my family muled high grade blow for 'dis studio across the border. My wife alone has packed no less than three tons in her asshole over ten years time.... and dat's just dat whore... not to mention my homo son and his fuck toy sista. If we don't get the job we'll call your corporate head and they'll have every crack nigga in da' city sleepin' on your doorstep and fuckin' your wife."

Knowing they would fit right in with the other talent on his roster... but not wanting to look altogether too intimidated or eager.... the agent then responds after a short pause; "Mr. President......"

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

It Has Been Said; "The Aristocrats" version #3

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

The father then introduces the family in a very cordial manner. He then continues to inform the agent;"We are talentless and have no personality to speak of, but we have made millions in undisclosed contributions to your parent corporation."

To which the agent replies;"How nice..... and Mrs. Clinton (Gore, Rowling, any other Female Celebrity) that is a wonderful fragrance you are wearing if I may say..."

Then....

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

It Has Been Said; "The Aristocrats" version #2

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

They all then wheel in their own coffins and lay in them, except for the father who then shoots them all in the head.

The father then turns to the agent and says; "They're dead. Get it?"

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

It Has Been Said: "The Aristocrats" version #1

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

With that, the mother opens the door and in walks a hairy dyke with an 18 inch strap on dildo lined with straight edge razor blades, dressed in a sailor bunny costume, clown make up, a mouse eared Nazi Helmet, Italian leather shoes and a chefs coat....carrying a boom box that is blasting an assorted mix of '70s hits and "All My Lovin'" by the Beatles...... who the agent immediately recognizes to be a serial killer that escaped and has been on the lam for near on three weeks.


The family drop their pants and grab their ankles while the killer begins to systematically fuck them all to death beginning with the father... making sure to hack an appendage from the dying body of the previous victim and ram it into any available orifice of the next whilst she starts the murderous violation on the next one in line. As she rams the razor dildo with elephant like force, she simultaneously takes huge bites of flesh out of the bleeding end of the amputated and deposited appendage.... chewing rapidly and spewing foul commentary pertaining to the useless existence of the person she is currently fucking to death. Occasionaly spiting human flesh and blood directly at the agents face.


As the serial killer finishes the dog and is ramming a furry hind leg into the quivering young vaginal orifice of the whimpering young daughter... the agent happens a look toward the mother and son now naked and engaged in mutual masturbation noticing the mother mouthing the words "fuck her little cunt.... yeah....cum on mommy"... the mother smiles at the agent in a knowing and loving mother like manner....and calmly tells him that this part gives the act a timing edge which he will see is all too important to the end result of the act....
Just as the killer is pushing the tip of the strap on into the child.... the child utters in a far too rehearsed manner through snivels and squeals of pain....
"Help me, baby Jesus.... help me! Save us!"


To which the door again fly's open nearly thrown from it's hinges allowing the billowing smoke and flood of other wordly light to illuminate the shadow of none other than Jesus H. Christ, arms raised (alternately Moses, as Jesus was too busy for some reason..... allowing Moses to finish the job and kill the killer as well) and entering the room as if floating.....


This of course causes the serial killer to hasten her strokes as she spews a mouth full of dog flesh on Jesus and rips the young girls head off... then throwing it at the mother and son, sending the mother into throws of ecstasy while her son unloads a wad of thick viscous cum on both her and the detached head of the young girl... it's face still mouthing some words that are indiscernible to the agent from his perspective under the mother with his tongue up her ass.


Christ then begins to do what Christ is always expected to do and lays his hands firstly upon the father, commanding him back to life. With no choice other than to obey the father rises, having been resurrected and begins to simultaneously beat the serial killer with her own strap on dildo, causing horrific lacerations through the whimpering snivel from the killer of "that isn't fair..... and you cheated" while skull fucking the killers eye socket with the fathers intestines and other innards flailing about and falling to the floor.


Soon Jesus has the other victims revitalized and begins healing their physical wounds when the mother flings a hand full of shit into the serial killers bleeding eye socket having somehow dragged herself across the room with her son and the agents heads firmly up her ass and stinking vaginal orifice, respectively.


The father, having finished with the killer, removes the dogs leg from the still headless body of the daughter and rips a large piece of flesh off of it and begins to chew...as he then begins fucking the open wound of the girls torso where her head used to be..... then bending her body backwards and tearing her asshole out with yet another varatious bite from his teeth and a dog like growl.... to which Jesus stated;

"Hey, do you mind? I don't believe in the make work mentality.... you didn't say this was a union gig....."


The father stops and stands there panting looking at the dead body of the dyke serial killer and muttering some hateful curse in what seems to be a Donald Duck voice.


While Jesus continues to resurrect and heal the limp and detached body of the child, he simultaneous begins to urinate into the eye socket of the dead dyke very near on the floor... the sound of it much like filling a cup with liquid from a considerable distance... which is met with substantial cheers and encouragement from the father....


Jesus then stops his very common statement of "be healed" and tells the dead dyke that "I'll be with you in a minute, whore" then resuming the process with the child and the now suffocated son and agent.....pulling them gingerly from the orifices of the exhausted and rather pleased mother....


When Jesus resurrects and heals them all..... they all stand there and begin thanking him profusely while the now healed dyke begins to pull flowers out of her ass and hand them out around the room. As soon as everyone in the room has at least one flower... the family, dyke and Jesus then form a circle holding hands with the dog happily skittering around their feet.... all saying in unison; "Keep coming back... it works."


To which the agent responds from his desk...."I'm a Jew, so I'm just not that into the Jesus thing...but....."

and...

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"